No podcast this week :-(
Sorry to say that there won’t be a podcast released today due to unforseen circumstances. We’ll be back next week in all out glory though, so stay tuned for the next one on Friday, July 25th at 5pm (UK Time).
Episode 44 - Brutal Pasta
This episode starts off with some rather unlikely claims about the self flagellation methods of former British Prime Minister William Gladstone. Apparently, he used to whip himself on the back. He was a strange cookie in some respects, fair enough. But whether these acts of autobashing were executed using pasta has probably never been discussed before we entered the historic debate. Which is what we do today.
Nintendo’s probably very clever but difficult to understand marketing and production policies are brought into question over their Wii Fit game (if “game” is the correct term). Frustrated shoppers can’t buy Wii Fit anywhere, but it’s still being aggressively advertised. How does that work, then?
(Note that we are not affiliated to Reebok, although if they want to send us some free stuff to thank us for our glowing review of their exercise equipment, we will make friends with them.)
Greg’s lottery madness provides us with our very own quirky story, and we’ve got photographic evidence courtesy of Greg’s girlfriend, who captured him at the height of his panic…
We’ll be back with episode 45 of The Blueprint Podcast at 5pm (UK Time) on Friday, August 1st. Until then, please complete our very short Blueprint Podcast Survey, which helps us to make the podcast better.
Episode 43 - Two Northern Men Talking
We’re back with episode 43 of The Blueprint Podcast.
Sorry it’s gone online a little late in the day - it won’t happen again, but we hope you’ll forgive us as we have been out doing work for cherridy.
Please remember to complete the Blueprint Podcast survey - it helps us to tailor the podcast to the people who listen to it.
If you have iTunes or something similar, don’t forget that you can have the new episodes downloaded to your computer or mp3 player automatically. What will they think of next.
Episode 42 - Custard Creams
Have you got a loft, or attic at your place? If so, what have you got in there? Do you think you’ll ever really use any of it? We kick off the episode with talk of wasted real estate in our homes, but Greg soon finds the existence of revolving tables more interesting by half.
We sort out the world economic crisis, the credit crunch, sub-prime loans and house prices. If only the governments of the world would realise that idle chit chat is the way to go. Then we take on the Oxford English Dictionary, and talk about the way that people use words, in particular words like “gazetteer” (which means a reference for information about places and place names, and not Microsoft Autoroute, as someone Chris knows thinks), and the custard cream biscuit, which is now available in your local dictionary, before Greg takes a view on “easy” words being included.
After that, it’s all about the biscuits. Oh, and a chimp, a rude new Mr. Man, The Krays, and how to avert nuclear war.
Here’s Andy Warhol’s famous Custard Cream painting.
Episode 41 - The Polite Fantastic
Politeness. That’s what it’s all about, friends. Just be nice to people. It costs nothing, and maybe people in general will be a bit nicer to you if you are a bit nicer to them. Smile occasionally. Say “please” and “thank you”. Buy gifts, don’t steal, don’t lift. Twenty years of school and then they put you on the day shift.
That’s what this episode is sort of about, in a way.
Episode 40 - Allright, if you like that kind of thing
Welcome back to The Blueprint Podcast, the podcast described by Podfinder UK as, “Allright, if you like that kind of thing” and “almost humourous”. Thanks for the review, though, it’s nice to be in your thoughts.
In this episode, things get scary, as Greg reveals that he possibly believes in werewolves. We also visit a quirky story in which some bears go into a restaurant, and the reporter charged with writing it up goes into “Three Bears” pun overdrive. So it’s all sort of animal-based, with a perfect balance between real animals, fictional animals, and fairytale animals.
This week’s picture is of Jo from Podfinder UK, only with glasses, a beard, and horns. Big hugs from The Blueprint Podcast to Jo and her pals.
Episode 39 - Blueprint Coach Tours Presents
This one starts off a bit nerdy, with one or two William Shatner impressions, and Greg tries to “out” Chris as a Star Trek nerd.
Continental lager is explained, as are Denmark and Holland, with particular reference to Chris’s travels, which leads to a new business idea for Blueprint holiday coach trips.
Impressions that everyone thinks they can do (including the ubiquitous Sean Conneries, Kenneth Williamses and Prince Charleses) are discussed, but it’s really just an excuse for Greg to do his Frankie Howerd.
Quirky stories this week take us into the world of a man so hungry that he apparently ram raided an Indian takeaway, and Greg’s machismo related to curries, coffee and knowledge of the locations of speed cameras are revealed, before we delve into our male psyches, but only as far as the issue of us liking women drinking pints.
In order to prove our point about women drinking pints, here are some approachable and attractive women doing just that.
It’s all going on. We’ll be back next Friday (that’s June 20th) at 5pm, UK Time.
Episode 38 - Teatime for Democracy
As the British summer lurches, stumbles and shuffles on with bouts of typically changeable British weather and all of Britain expresses surprise, despite this being the 20000th year in a row that this has happened, The Blueprint Podcast eschews meteorological talk in favour of the really important things.
We kick off with some more-interesting-than-it-appears discussion on the subject of names for meals. If you’re not in the UK, did you know that we often refer to the evening meal as “tea”? Well we do, even if the meal has none of the drink known as “tea” involved. From there, we discuss the evolution and unkillable nature of the blue jean and remember its temporary demise in the mid 90s.
A tightrope walking dog turns out to be a possible secret government project, and yet another person complains of high fines after refusing to turn up to court several times. Fight the system from within, for crying out loud! The Man will stamp on you every time if you try to ignore him.
Mexican donkeys are not getting the best press these days because of their violent behaviour, and a squirrel apparently makes friends with and ultimately has a romantic relationship with some humans, who think he’s a monkey. It’s difficult to explain, go and have a listen.
Hu Hu the tightrope walking dog is what it’s all about. In this picture you can’t see the tightrope very well, so he looks like he’s just having a bit of an air walk, but he isn’t.
Episode 39 will be arriving on schedule at 5pm (UK Time) on Friday, June 13th. Be there, and wear something slutty.
Episode 37 - Especially For The Ladies
This episode is going out to all the sweet ladies. At least it is at the start, but then we get into the politics of restaurants and dating and non-romantic eateries. Then we basically start having a go at cavemen for not being funny enough, before moving onto something else altogether.
Remember Jaws? It was awesome, wasn’t it? Or was it? Was the shark not a little bit flappy mouthed? Did the bit at the end where they’re on the boat not go on for a little bit too long? Was the whole thing not a publicity disaster for the shark community? Were Richard Dreyfuss and Roy Schneider not a little bit flippant on their way home at the end?
And that’s just the first Jaws. Don’t get us started on Jaws 4: The Revenge. Well, as it goes, you don’t need to get us started, because we have already started and stopped, and recorded the event as Episode 37 of The Blueprint Podcast.
We also give a brief an formless critique of the new Terminator TV programme, in which some stuff happens, but in all honesty I can’t remember much of it because of Summer Glau. Summer Glau is definitely in it, I can tell you that much.
This is the poster from the new stage play Chris is writing, called Lovely Lovely Summer Glau. It’s about Summer Glau. In the play, she goes around being lovely, and the townspeople rejoice.
We’ll be back next Friday at 5pm (UK time), so join us then.
Episode 36 - Transexual Chips
We’re having fun on this episode, and we hope that it’s infectious rather than annoying. Chris discovers that Greg can be made to laugh by exposing him to childish rude words, and obviously uses this new weapon to his advantage when possible.
We find out about Chris’s daredevil onstage exploits in his younger days involving an apple and a samurai sword, and expose another irrational protest. This time it’s a man cutting his own car in half in order to “thwart” some vehicle clampers. Now come on. Who’s being thwarted there? The clampers probably had a lot less hassle to deal with afterwards.
Some cow business involving flatulence and tax comes into play, and there is some bickering between Chris and Greg over various things.
Neil Young, though, is living the high life, having achieved every rock star’s dream of having a spider named after him. We discuss this at more length than it deserves, but don’t worry, we do punctuate it with tangental conversation about other things entirely.
This episode’s picture is of CHiPs, rather than chips as discussed. Nor are we suggesting that either of them is a transexual, or that there would be anything wrong with it if they were. Hell’s bells, it’s a legal minefield, this podcasting thing.